More than Meets the Eyes
by Clockworks' Angel
Summary: This is the prequel to my other story Art, Music and Romance. it is Alec and Magnus' Past starting with with Alecs I don't own the characters that goes to the amazing Cassie Clare. (you don't have to have read my other story to read this :)
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, this is a prequel to my other story (Art, Music and Romance). Anyway its Alec's history at the moment. It might also have Magnus' when we get to the point where Art, Music and Romance begins. So, all in all this is the history which led them to where they are now.**

**Alec's POV**

It's my first day of senior year. Great. I really couldn't be the least bit bothered about it because I hated life, I hated school and I hated everyone who ever threw a punch at me, slammed me into a locker door or wrote 'fag' across my locker door or anything else which was mine.

It was hard being in my shoes but at least there was one thing which kept me going: Art class. I loved art so much. It gave me the chance to pour my feelings onto a page and to be in my own world, forgetting about all the incompetent assholes that patrol the streets of my life.

As I walked into school, I stared at the floor, just trying to forget all the shit going on at home. Mother was fighting with father because he had another 'business trip'. And of course she conveniently forgets the fact she's going to France with her boss for two weeks on 'business'. My family was pretty screwed up. The only perfect thing-

My thoughts were rudely interrupted. Before I even knew what was happening, my head was smashing against a locker door and then I was falling to the floor. I knew what was coming next if I didn't get up fast enough. I scrambled to my feet, but I clearly didn't get up fast enough for this person. The next thing I knew I was alone on the cold cement floor with my arms wrapped around my stomach in agony.

I heard the bell ring ages ago, but I was in too much pain to get up and go to class. I just lay there, willing myself not to cry. I'm not sure how long I lay there for, but before I knew it the second bell rang and I heard people scurry past me to get to their next classes. I heard people laugh at me and a few of them even stopped to kick me.

When I was sure everyone had gone to their classes, I slowly got up, trying to ignore every stab of pain. I had already missed my first lesson, so I may as well miss everything else. Slowly, I made my way to the school nurse. She wouldn't be able to do much, but she could at least give me a pain killer which would be able to stop the pain long enough for me to walk home.

I was relying on the fact I didn't look as bad as I felt, since I didn't want her to ask any questions and I was in too much pain to go to the bathroom and fix myself up before I went.

**I know its short but its only a tester to see what it's like, so if you want me to carry on review it ;) I promise that if I do carry on there will be much longer chapters.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alec POV**

I don't think the nurse noticed anything. She was to busy telling other students who were ill with 'Skive-alitius' that there was nothing wrong with them and to just go back to class. When she saw me she handed me a Neurofen and I was on my way home. Not that I told her I was going straight home.

On my long walk home all I could feel was the throbbing pain searing though my body. All I wanted was for the pain killer to start working and to get home. I started thinking about what had happened the last time I went home before school was over. It was just before I started High School and it was the same reason for being beat up and by the same people too. Sebastian Verlac and Jonathan Morgenstern. They were always bullying me and they always made me feel like a piece of shit, no matter where I went or what I did, they were somehow always there to throw a punch.

That day was almost as bad as today, the only difference was that I had landed up in hospital with a cracked rib from that beating. I had come home way too early looking like I had just been dragged through hell and my mother was home. On one hand it was good she was there but on the other it was really bad. When I got there she was sitting in her seat in the lounge reading a magazine, I didn't realize she was there till I walked through the room to go to my bedroom.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood. What on this earth are you doing-" she stopped mid sentence and looked me thoroughly up and down. "What in the name of the angel happened to you?"

"Nothing I just want to go to sleep, okay?." I probably sounded like I was in a lot of pain which was probably because I was, but anyway.

"That's not a good sign. Did you walk all the way here like that?" My mother had her first aid so she knew that being tired and looking like hell meant something bad.

"Well yeah, I can't drive, can I?" I asked sarcastically, hoping she would leave it and let me go to my room, which she clearly wasn't going to let me do now.

"There is no way I am letting you sleep. Get in the car. I will be there in a second, I'm taking you to the hospital." And thus began my week hospital torture. They wanted to keep me longer because of my rib which I seriously was against and my mother backed me up. Instead, I just spend another week at home far from the pricks at school.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when it began to rain. Great, just the pick me up I needed. I was nearly home when the fear of someone being there started to creep up on me. What happens if mother was home, or worse father!

I decided to go through the front door so I could see if their cars were in the drive. There was a car in the drive but I didn't recognise it as someone I knew and I just prayed it wasn't one of my parents and was a cleaner or something.

Well ,we are talking about me so I was clearly not going to be having any luck like that was I? When I got through the front door I saw my father's briefcase sitting on the kitchen counter. _I can't catch a fucking break can I? _I thought to myself. If it was one of my parents, couldn't it have been my mother?

I walked through the kitchen as quietly as I could so my father wouldn't hear me come in. When I got through to the lounge entrance I looked in to see no one was in there. If there was I would have to take the long way to my room, which would cause me more pain then I was already in. Why can't the damn Neurofen just work already?

As I peered into the living room I was caught off guard by what I saw, on the three-seat couch, there was my father making out with a blonde bimbo from work, who was half naked. I knew my parents marriage was on the rocks, but I didn't know it went this far. I probably should have expected it though.

The only reason they were still together was for Max, we all knew it, even the little boy himself.

I stopped dead in that door way unable to tear my eyes away and unable to say anything. I was too shell-shocked. I think I stood there for five minutes before I turned away as the realization that I wasn't meant to be home set in.

It was too late though, my father had noticed me .

"Alexander, what are you doing home?!" S_hit _I felt slightly sick now maybe it was the Neurofen taking effect or maybe it was the idea of my dad being home with his employee half-naked. Right now anger was boiling up in me towards my father. I didn't know where it came from but it was there and I snapped at him.

"What am I doing here? What the _hell_ are you doing here with _her?!_ Don't you love Mom! This sickens me!" My father turned toward the woman and said something in her ear which led to her leaving the house and going towards her car, I presumed, which was in the drive.

My father got up from were he was and buttoned up his white dress shirt which I didn't realize was unbuttoned until now.

"You know nothing, my boy." He said this with a disgusted tone to his voice, which made my knees go weak, but I made sure I stood standing in my place. I had to do this for my siblings and for my mother.

The next second was a blur as my dad hit me and screamed "You know nothing!" I brought my hand to my face, which probably should have been in agonizing pain, judging by the blood in my mouth and now in my hand. Clearly Neurofen before a beating has a positive effect.

"Thanks for that! You know what, I do know something now! I know you just had a half-naked woman in our house on _our_ couch! What the _fucking_ hell!"

Shit. I didn't just say that. I couldn't have. Fuck fuck _fuck_. I was going to get it now.

**Sorry about the cliffy but it has to be done. Anyway let me know how it is, I needed this to put in scene why Alec is afraid of his father, although that part is in the next chapter. **

**If you guys have questions of anything you want me to add let me know :P**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is the next chapter for this :D I was typing some last night at some ungodly hour, and forgot I typed it only to wake up and find that I had half a chapter written, so that was pretty good. Anyway enjoy...**

**Alec POV**

After I snapped at my father he took me by the ear and pushed me down to the floor. He was kneeling over me pushing my face to the floor while he whispered harshly into my ear. "You tell _anyone_ what you saw and I will personally gut you alive. I don't care that you're my son, you shouldn't have been home, boy." With that he let go of my ear abruptly and stood up straight and composed himself. "Go to your room, have a shower and change into clothes that don't smell of blood." I got up off the floor, not showing any signs of weakness.

I looked at my father right in the eyes with a look of disgust as I wiped the blood off my lip. "I will never think of you as my father again," I said firmly. I then turned around and made my way up to my room without a single glance back.

* * *

**Izzy POV**

After a long day spent looking for Alec, who was nowhere to be seen, I finally got home. I was just about to go up to Alec's room to see if he was up there, when I saw my dad sitting in the far end stool in the dining room table. I wanted so badly to go talk to him, to see if he was okay and why he was home so early but something stopped me; the pure look of hate and anger in his face and eyes. That was something no-one wanted to be on the receiving end of, it looked like someone had already been there though and I immediately thought of Alec. Father was always too hard on him, I thought.

* * *

**Alec POV**

I hadn't bothered to take a shower or change, I just crawled into bed where the world could disappear, even if it was only for a short period of time. I liked the smell of my own blood being on the outside of my body. It reminded me that I was still alive and wasn't just a waste of space. The Neurofen was beginning to wear off as I glanced at clock. 3:30. Izzy and Jace should be home soon.

I closed my eyes in hopes of drifting away. This sense of peace was ruptured when my bedroom door was ripped open and I froze in fear, afraid it was my father. I pulled the blanket over my head and began shaking uncontrollably with fear. My cowardliness was put to rest when I heard my sister's voice.

"Hey Alec, where were you during school today?" she asked her voice as soothing as ever.

"Iz, not that I don't appreciate you being here, but I just want to be alone right now." I mumbled from under my blanket in the hopes that she got the picture.

"Alec. You're getting beat up again aren't you? You have to tell someone here at home, dad's here. You can tell him." Yeah sure, tell the one who like just beat me up that I'm being beat up at school. That works.

"It's fine, Iz. Please just leave me alone." She obviously didn't get the point, as she ripped my blanket off from over my head and scrunched up her nose, probably at the smell of dry blood.

"Alec! It smells like death under here. You really need to shower and get rid of that blood," she said gesturing to the blood on my face, "seriously Alec you need to tell someone."

"_No,_ Iz. I don't need to. It's fine. Just leave please." I tried to pull the blanket back over my head but she stopped me.

"Come on, Alec, go shower and I'll change these bloody sheets."

"Fine." I said getting up and out of my sanctuary, but not pleased about it.

"Good boy."

I went into my bathroom catching a glimpse of the knife on my dresser as I went. I_t couldn't be that bad just to get the blood running right? Damn it, Alec, don't think like that!_ I put that thought to rest and went to shower. I stood under the cold water and watched the blood run down from my now scabbed over injuries. I spat into the drain letting out a bundle more blood, and I realized my nose now bleeding again.

* * *

When I was finished my shower and I walked into my room, it wasn't Izzy who was changing the sheets it was my mother. I knew she wouldn't do it herself, it just wasn't like her.

"Alec. Glad to see you're not still covered in blood. Isabelle told me, you know," she said, sounding stern.

"I know, I'm sorry. I should have showered before getting into bed, but..." I left that sentence hanging and started a new one at a realization I had. "You won't tell dad, will you?" I asked with fear in my voice.

"Not if you don't want me to, but I think-" I cut her off with a big hug and a whispered,"Thank you."

"That's alright, Alexander. Just don't do it again, shower next time." She had just finished my bed and was about to leave when she turned around, her long black hair turning with her. "Oh and honey, dinner is in five minutes. Your father is eating with us tonight. He was home early."

"Okay." I had to fight so hard to not tell her everything, and fear was settling in my stomach. Fear of my father.

**So how was that I hope it was okay. Review please and let me know :D**


	4. Chapter 4

**Okay, this is a little short, but you will see why later (cliffy). Anyway some of the events in this chapter have been mentioned before, so don't be too disappointed, I have changed it a little. Any here you go...**

The dinner was rather awkward, with everyone sitting in a deep silence, the only sound being the slight clicking of cutlery meeting the plates and then food being chewed. It was only after everyone had virtually finished eating that Izzy began to speak, "There's these guys at school." Everyone gave a huge sigh knowing what they should be expecting next, she was always talking about guys; how hot they were, how hot they were or how they asked her out. What's new?, was what everyone was probably thinking. "No, no, not like that! Jeez, I'm not that much of a whore!" Jace coughed telling us that she was lying and he knew better. "Anyway him and this other dude were caught making out under the grandstands before school."

I winced when I heard that it was two guys, not that I had anything against it being two guys, being gay myself. I had kind of felt better knowing I wasn't the only one. The thing which made me wince was the fact that this was obviously the point where I was going to hear exactly what my parents thought about gays and what they would think of me if they knew what I tried so hard to hide everyday. Today was also the wrong day for this to be happening after everything that had happened. Why did today have to be the day I find this information out?

Both my parents looked up from their plates and stopped eating looking straight at Izzy now. "Isabelle, we do not speak of such abominable things in this household!" my father shouted. He seemed very disappointed that Izzy would bring up such _madness_. "But why?" she asked sounding rather confused. "It's just... _wrong! B_oys should _only_ be with girls, do you underst-" I didn't bother even listening to the parts which followed. I saw no point in staying to listen to the ruthless way my father was speaking about who I am, so I abruptly stood and walked up to my room in a storm, ignoring the people calling after me.

The whole day, no, my whole life I had tried to suppress the urge to drive a steel blade through my arm, but something snapped today. When I got to my bedroom I didn't waste any time. I_had_ to do something to stop myself, or I would do the deed_._ I went back to where I was before dinner, which was in my bed with the covers drawn over me, but this time I stopped to grab a pen knife out from my desk drawer.

Lying there on my bed, sobbing my heart out and clutching the closed knife to my chest in a fist, I knew what I wanted to do... but was I completely _sure_ I wanted to do it? I hesitated for another moment, and then flipped the knife open and drove it deep into my elbow joint and pulled it out again in one solid motion. Watching the blood trickle down from the shallow wound in my arm, my sobbing grew to shudders of crazed panic, and I drove the knife through my wrist this time, nicking open the vein which sat just below the skin. Not caring about what I had done, I fell asleep, not caring who might walk in and find the blood covering my arm and not even caring that there _was_ blood running down my arm.

The next morning when I woke up, I was still feeling the effects of what had happened during dinner and also what happened after. As I looked down at my arm, which I had dragged the blade down the night before, I was a little shocked at what I saw. The cut hadn't gone as deep as I had originally thought and had a fresh scab over the top, with my skin slightly red on the edges, along with dried blood here and there.

For a minute I had an inward debate of whether or not I should take a shower. This was eventually won by the part that screamed out to me that dried blood down my arm would terrify some people. I hastily got up out of bed and started down the hall. It was fairly early in the morning; Jace and Isabelle would still be asleep and Mom and Dad would be on their way to work, so no one would see me.

I chose to use the bathroom a little way down the hall since the shower in my room didn't usually get hot water, unlike the rest of the bathrooms in this damn house. I was halfway to the bathroom when I felt a hand on my shoulder. I froze in panic.

"Alec?"

**Alright that was it. If you read the chapter about Alec's past then you would know that I wrote the morning little differently in there, but I changed it to make this better so let me know please.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Well, I left a big cliffy last time. I'm sorry... Here is the next chapter; enjoy! **

**Alec POV**

"Alec?" the voice asked again.

I had an idea of who it was, but I was in so much shock that someone had just found me on my way to the bathroom with my arm covered in blood to actually take in completely who it was until I turned around.

There standing in front of me was a very sleepy looking Isabelle. Exactly who I'd thought it was.

"Iz?"

"Alec?" she said again, to which my smart reply was, "Iz?", not really sure of what else to say.

"Alec why do you have blood on your arm?" she asked, sounding slightly groggy. She clearly had just woken up to pee or something.

"What blood?" I asked trying to hide my arm behind my back, but that didn't really work since the next thing I knew she was pulling my arm out from behind me and towards her.

"Shower then come to my room," she said, sounding very blunt and mother-like, when in actual fact she was my YOUNGER sister. She turned and left in the direction of her bedroom. I noticed she was still in her school clothes. What had happened last night after I left so abruptly? She would never go to bed like that; she had a whole ritual to do before she usually goes to her blissful and full night of sleep.

After she disappeared into her room, I turned around to head for the bathroom. I immediately regretted not pulling on a shirt before I left my room, and I was also starting to regret leaving dinner so suddenly, but the one thing I didn't regret was driving the blade into my arm. I felt so much better.

When I got into the bathroom I locked the door with a hard jerk at the latch and dropped my pants, going straight for the shower, stepping in and turning it on. The water was cold at first and it felt good falling on my skin but when it hit the injuries on my arm it stung like high hell, especially when the water got steaming hot. Surprisingly it didn't bother me that much, as I now welcome pain with open arms, wishing I had the pen knife here to cause more.

I immediately put that thought out my head. That's the last time you cut yourself, Lightwood. NEVER again, I scolded myself, before getting out the shower clean of blood. I wrapped a towel around my waist, grabbed my pants and unlocked the door.

As I made my way to my sister's room, I slung my pants over the arm with the cuts and fresh scabs. I knocked once or twice before she opened the door. She had changed out of her slept-in school uniform and was now in her pink heart PJ's.

"Alec, does this have something to do with what happened during dinner, you know, dad's reaction to well, yeah..." she trailed off. Before I had a chance to answer she had started up again. "Alec, I _know_. Which is kinda why I brought it up. I knew you would want to know what they think."

"H-how..?" I started, but lost my voice somewhere along the line.

"Alec, I've just been picking up little signs you know, like how when Jace goes on about who's hot or not, you just stay away from it and ignore him. When he asks your opinion you just grunt at him. Alec, I'm your sister. I know these things," she said, sitting on her bed and patting a spot next to her, asking me to sit down, which I did without argument.

"Let me see please," she said and I knew exactly what she meant. I reluctantly handed her my arm. "Why did you do it?" I didn't answer her. Instead I just shrugged.

"I know you're scared but, Alec, you can tell me anything."

"I'm sorry, but this I just... can't." I really wanted to tell her everything that had happened yesterday with dad and the half-naked woman, how dad beat me to a pulp and how Jonathan and Sebastian had beat me to a pulp. How the words father said last night really affected me but... I just couldn't.

"_Please_, Alec," she pleaded, making it hard for me not to tell her, but the thought of what would happen if I did kept me from doing so.

I tried to change the subject. "What happened after I left?"

"Don't think you can avoid talking about this." she began.

"Tell me, Isabelle." I said, trying to sound as stern as I could in a towel.

"Fine. You left, Dad got pissed, Mom got pissed, Jace was oblivious and Max was somehow brought up," she said all in one breath. Max was in hospital at the moment with meningitis. We didn't know if he was going to make it and we all knew that if he didn't neither would our family.

"Oh." I said, knowing full well what went on and everything fell into place.

"Alec, did Dad do something to you yesterday?" When she asked this I was in full-shock mode. Why did she ask that?

"No. Why?" I said, lying through my teeth, hoping she bought it; I was a terrible lair.

"Yesterday you looked completely terrified of him and when you got up and left he screamed that you had better stay up there if you knew what was best for you." So he was serious about what he had said.

"Don't worry, Iz. It's all fine. I promise he was probably just angry that I left like that."

"Maybe..." she trailed off again, "But Alec, I worry about you now even more." She looked down at my arm while she this.

"It's fine, don't worry." I said, trying to sound fine, but terrified of what would happened with this whole dad situation. Maybe it would just go away.

**How was it? Did you guess right as to who the person was? **

**I want to know which version of the morning after you like better. Do you like the one from Art, Music and Romance or this one? Let me know please :D Also let me know what you thought of this.**

**Until next time...**


	6. Chapter 6

**Alec POV**

I didn't bother going back to bed after my talk with Izzy, I just got changed, having the plan of eating breakfast and waiting to go to school.

That unfortunately wasn't how it was going to happen. I was sitting on my bed reading, A_ Tale of Two Cities,_ when my dad walked into my room, closing the door silently behind him as to not cause anyone else to wake up. I took this to be bad sign.

"Why did you run like that, boy?" he said furiously, snatching the book out of my hands and throwing it to the floor.

I got off my bed and practically crawled to go pick up the book he had just thrown, but I didn't get that far. He picked me up off of the floor by my shirt's collar, strangling me as he did so. "Forget the stupid book, boy, and answer my question. Why did you run while I was teaching the three of you a valuable lesson?" I tried to not flinch when he said that. A valuable lesson? Something snapped inside me; I was tired of following his orders, "So now hating gays is a _valuable lesson_? I don't think so,_ Dad."_ I spat the word out as if it were poison on my lips. "Being gay does _not_ mean I- _they're_ not human!" Shit, what did I just say?! I had practically just told my dad I was gay. This was so not going to be good.

"Did you just say I? I promise you now if that implies what I think it does I'M GOING TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW AND HERE!" He screamed this so loud I was praying it had awoken either Izzy or Jace ,since their rooms were right next to mine.

I think God was on my side that day, since five seconds after I thought that my door was opened by someone. I wasn't really sure who though, since my _father _was blocking the way.

"What's going on in here?" I knew that voice; it was my mother, not who I was expecting but it was someone to save me from my_ father's_ promise.

"Did you just tell my son you're going to kill him?" she said with a quiet deadliness, "I swear on the Angel, if you did Robert..." she trailed off, being interrupted by the one she was addressing.

"He doesn't deserve to live if he is going to think this way!" He turned to me, "Care to tell your mother what you just told me, you fag." I flinched at the word which was always aimed at me at school. I never thought my own father would use it on me, for the simple reason of he was never going supposed find out what I am.

I was in my thoughts a little too long apparently, as my dad slapped me through the face yelling, "Come on, then, tell her!"

"Robert, _please,_ there is no need for this," my mother pleaded. Suddenly I grew a pair and I threw blackmail into the air.

"Touch me again and I will talk," I hissed. I knew my father knew exactly what I was talking about by the look on his face.

"You talk and I will kill you!" He yelled.

"I thought you were already going to kill me for being gay, father dear." I said calmly, watching the looks on both my parents' faces change. My father had absolute disgust written over it, whereas my mother had... pity?

"So you are," my mother asked calmly. She clearly had no problem with this. My father looked as if he were about to explode from anger.

"Yes I am, and since no one accepts that, I think I will just leave." I had no idea where all my courage was coming from at this point, but I wasn't complaining one bit. I went to my closet, got a bag out, threw all my things in and made to leave the room, my parents too shocked to say a thing.

"Alexander Gideon Lightwood, where the hell do you think your going!" my father shouted. I didn't turn, I just walked towards the door.

"Let him go. He can't stay here when you're not willing to accept him. He has a right to leave," my mother said and I'm almost certain she was crying.

**Well there it is please drop a review saying anything, good? Bad? a question? anything I don't mind I just wanna know what you think :D **

**Thanks guys**


	7. Chapter 7

**Sorry about the not posting for a while, I was kinda packed with drama rehearsals and performed on Thursday; it was lots of nerve-racking fun, and we made the audience cry, but don't worry, in this situation its a good thing. Anyhow, enough of my boring and unimportant life, let's get to the important stuff shall we. With this chapter I have switched it to Magnus to keep things interesting, I hope you don't mind. As you know from the chapter in Art, Music and Romance (if you read that) Magnus' life is kind of sad so I have decided to make this a happy chapter (if I can, I'm not so good with writing happy) so enjoy.**

**Magnus POV**

"I'm through with standin' in lines to clubs

I'll never get in

It's like the bottom of the ninth and I'm never gonna win

This life hasn't turned out Quite the way I want it to be

(Tell me what you want)

I want a brand new house on an episode of Cribs

And a bathroom I can play baseball in And a king size tub

Big enough for ten plus me

(Yeah, so what you need?)

I need a credit card that's got no limit

And a big black jet with a bedroom in it

Gonna join the mile high club

At thirty-seven thousand feet

(Been there, done that)

I want a new tour bus full of old guitars

My own star on Hollywood Boulevard

Somewhere between Cher And James Dean is fine for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life

For fortune and fame

I'd even cut my hair

And change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars

And live in hilltop houses, drivin' fifteen cars

The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap

We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat

And we'll hang out in the coolest bars

In the VIP with the movie stars

Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there

Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair

And well, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

I wanna be great like Elvis without the tassels

Hire eight body guards that love to beat up assholes

Sign a couple autographs So I can eat my meals for free

(I'll have the quesadilla, ha, ha)

I'm gonna dress my ass with the latest fashion

Get a front door key to the Playboy mansion

Gonna date a centerfold that loves

To blow my money for me

(So how you gonna do it?)

I'm gonna trade this life

For fortune and fame

I'd even cut my hair And change my name

'Cause we all just wanna be big rockstars

And live in hilltop houses, drivin' fifteen cars

The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap

We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat

And we'll hang out in the coolest bars

In the VIP with the movie stars

Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there

Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair

And we'll hide out in the private rooms

With the latest dictionary of today's who's who

They'll get you anything with that evil smile

Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial

Well, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar

I'm gonna sing those songs that offend the censors

Gonna pop my pills from a Pez dispenser

Get washed-up singers writin' all my songs

Lipsynk 'em every night so I don't get 'em wrong

Well, we all just wanna be big rockstars

And live in hilltop houses, drivin' fifteen cars

The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap

We'll all stay skinny 'cause we just won't eat

And we'll hang out in the coolest bars

In the VIP with the movie stars

Every good gold digger's gonna wind up there

Every Playboy bunny with her bleach blond hair

And we'll hide out in the private rooms

With the latest dictionary of today's who's who

They'll get you anything with that evil smile

Everybody's got a drug dealer on speed dial

Well, hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar Hey, hey, I wanna be a rockstar," I finished singing.

"Wow, Magnus that's amazing. Did you write that?" Lisa, my sister, asked. I love my sister so much; she is always so understanding and knew almost everything about me, except that I was gay...

"Thanks Lis. Simon helped with the music, he's got a band together," I replied, gesturing to everyone behind me.

"Hey guys."

"Hey, I'm Simon, I kinda handle all the technical stuff and play base."

"I'm Will, I play piano."

"Raphael, drums." he said lifting the drum sticks up to punctuate his point.

"Ragnor, I play guitar" This was stated with a swift uplifting of his ink-coloured guitar.

"You all play fantastically. I loved the song, and you all play your instruments very well," Lisa voiced rather enthusiastically.

"Thank you," the teenagers said in unity. Everyone in the room was in grade 11 at this point and in the mean time my sister was graduating from school at the end of the year.

"It was a pleasure listening to you all. Come on, Magnus, we need to get going." She informed me, which was why she was here in the first place, here being Simon's garage in which had he drum kit set up in for Raphael. It was only at Simon's because he was moving and there was no space for it where he was going.

"Thanks guys, I will have a new song ready next week, it just needs some finishing touches," I yelled out from behind me as my sister and I made our way to the car.

"Bye, Magnus." I heard a few of them say.

* * *

I had been writing music ever since I can remember; it's always been a dream of mine to become famous and become a rockstar, which was what I wrote the last song about. I had to substitute boy for girl so no one would get suspicious, which wouldn't be that bad really.

I wanted to tell the world, declare to everyone that I'm openly gay, that was something I couldn't do just because it never seemed to come up.

The car ride with my sister as always was fun and had me laughing until my stomach hurt; we always had a blast together. Car rides were never normal with us, most of the time we would spend a lot of our time laughing at odd things on the road or odd people on the pavement and dare I say it... little kids being shouted at by their parents.

"Magnus?"

"Lisa?"

"Magnus?"

"Yes, Liiiiisa?" I said, dragging it out like a small child.

"Wanna grab a pizza before we go home? I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Sure, I love pizza. What's on your mind?" This time I let my child-voice slip, as she did with hers, and let my mature one take its place.


	8. Chapter 8

**I don't really know why but these chapters are really short for this story, I should really try to fix that. Anyway here's the next one**

**Lisa POV**

Something happened, something I'm scared about, something Magnus can help me with. I _need_ his help. I pulled the car into the driveway of Magnus' favourite pizza hut, after I asked him if he wanted to come out for pizza. The rest of the drive was in silence, me in my thoughts and him in his I suppose. My thoughts mostly involved the events of earlier today, the events I needed to speak to Magnus about.

"We're here now," I said, getting out of the car which was the same as what he was doing.

"So what's up Lisa, you're not usually this quiet." His voice had something to it, it was filled with concern. It touched me that he clearly cared a lot for me.

"Let's get pizza then we can talk, ok Maggy," I replied looking to the floor.

"Sure, sis," he said, smiling at me, which made my heart swell. I locked up the car and we made our way towards the front entrance of the pizza hut. He opened the door for me before he entered and I started ordering at the counter. I got us our usual, Coke for Magnus, Fanta Orange for me and a large cheese and ham pizza to share. We sat at our usual table as well.

As I was taking my seat, Magnus asked the question. "So what's up sis? It's gotta be something serious. You seem," he paused "off."

"Magnus, something... something happened, something bad." I said, trying to get myself to tell him.

"Lisa, what happened?" Panic arose in his voice. Now he was clearly worried.

"You know the other day, when I went to the club down the road from here."

"Yeah."

"Well I wanted to leave early, because... well I didn't want to stay out too long and-and that's when the something bad happened."

"Lisa _what_ happened?" Fear was quickly mounting in his eyes with each passing second I didn't answer him.

"Maggy... Someone- someone did something bad to me," I said, staring at the floor.

"Lisa, did they touch you?" he asked and I nodded slowly.

"He raped me Magnus." I was close to tears and so was he. I could see it in his eyes as he came round the table and put his arms around me and held me tight. He kept whispering comforting things into my ear, with our pizza forgotten, Its okay, don't worry, I'm here, sis, everything will be fine.

We stayed like that for a while, just sitting at our usual table in the pizza hut with our arms wrapped around each other. I was sure that we were both crying. He unwrapped his arms from me and leant back a little with his hands on my shoulders, "You okay?" he asked.

I couldn't really say much only, "Thank you, Magnus."

**There it was. Sorry it was pretty short but as I said I need to fix that. Anyway I won't be able to update next week since I'm going surfing but as soon as I get back you will have more writing cos then its one week and no more school, yay. **

**R&R guys, thanks. **


	9. Chapter 9

**These chapters are really short... I think its because it's documentations of what's happened before I donno anyway here you go **

**Magnus POV**

It had been two days since Lisa told me about what had happened and it had been a week since the event took place. She still hadn't told Dad. I told her she should so that he could take her to a doctor in-case something was wrong, but she didn't listen.

I was lying on my bedroom floor listening to some music when it happened; I heard her scream. In the past it wouldn't faze me if she screamed because it was usually something stupid like a spider, and yes, it could still be something stupid but since she told me about what had happened I needed to be more on alert.

I ran into her room where I had heard the screaming come from but when I got there she wasn't in sight. I ventured deeper into her room towards the bathroom door which was currently closed. She must be in there, I thought.

I knocked on the door vigorously. "Everything alright, sis?" I asked after there was no answer to the knocking. It took almost two minutes before I heard the lock on the door snap and I realized she was asking me to come in.

I opened the door gently as I knew she wasn't dead there was no need to rush. When I got into the room she was sitting on the floor in her nightgown, back against the wall, and she looked as if she had just seen a ghost.

"Lisa, you okay?" I asked, sitting next to her on the floor. She still didn't say anything as she continued staring into the empty void of space in front of her.

"Lisa?" I tried again, this time she just handed me something. _A pregnancy test,_ I thought. As I looked at it more closely I noticed what she was upset and glassified about; it was positive. I took in a breath trying to gather my thoughts mostly about how my sister was pregnant, she was pregnant with a rapist's baby, and how I knew she should have told my dad.

"Lisa, you're.. you're pregnant," I said, stating the obvious and I felt stupid for doing so.

"What am I going to do?" she exclaimed as she burst into tears and grabbed hold of me with both her arms.

**So what did you think, oh and let me know if you want me to carry on with this story please.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hi, I'm back again, I have nothing more to say other then I'm sorry its so late and here you go :)**

**Magnus POV**

After what happened in my sister's bathroom I told her not to worry, that it would be okay and that we would figure it out together. We sat there hugging each other and crying and I kept telling her over and over again I wouldn't leave her. I was crying for her and about what would happen with my father. I think she was crying because she was scared of the same thing.

After maybe half an hour of sitting on the cold tiles of her bathroom, I stood up and gave Lisa my hand to help her do the same, pulling her into an embrace at the same time. "Do you want to tell dad now?" I asked her, knowing we had to tell him sooner or later. Sooner would probably be better.

"I'll make dinner and when we're eating I will tell him, but Maggy, please be right there with me?" she asked and I tightened my hold on her to assure her of my answer, "Always."

She let go of her hold on me as I did the same. We rinsed our faces in her green sink so it didn't look like we had both been crying, since I had mascara running down my face, it would have been pretty obvious.

Afterwards we went down to the kitchen to start prepping for dinner. Even though Lisa said she would do it there was no way I was going to let her slave away while I did nothing. "So what are we making?" I asked, sounding pretty joyful considering what had just happened.

"We?" she questioned.

"Yeah, why not? It can be a team effort," I offered, smiling at her as she just stared at me from across the granite surface of our kitchen counter.

"Okaaay," she said, sounding uneasy. You see, I don't generally cook, or clean or do anything which could damage my perfectly manicured finger nails, so I think she was slightly shocked at this.

"How about pasta?" she asked, turning to look if we had any in the usual top cabinet, where these things were usually kept.

"Don't think we have any," I said, remembering when dad was looking but couldn't find any, although he might have bought more since that time.

Lisa pulled out a box and showed it to me; it had Pasta written across the front in big red letters with a yellow background, "You were saying?" She gave me that weird look with one eyebrow up above the other, which me being me usually gave people too.

"My bad," I said, lifting and dropping my shoulders. "So what are we having with it?" I asked.

"I don't know. I was hoping you could help me with that," she said, looking at me with a thoughtful expression this time.

I thought for a bit about the possibilities before concluding with, "Bacon and cheese, maybe?"

She looked at me for a second "Sure, that sounds nice. Do you want to do the bacon and me the pasta and cheese or the other way round?"

"I don't mind, let's do that." Thus the work on dinner began. I started cooking the bacon and Lisa made the pasta. When all that was done she grated the cheese as I set the table. Everything had to be perfect, just like the time I came out, although this is a lot more serious then that.

It was time for dinner and with that it meant time for Lisa to tell father. To be very honest with you, I was so scared for her because when it came to things like this our father believed you should be married, and even if she said she was raped, which she was, he wouldn't care because in his opinion if someone came up to you wanting to rape you there was always a way out and that was how he saw it. No other way about it.

"Evening kids," he said as he walked into the kitchen. Lisa and I were just adding a few things to the table like the salt, pepper and other spices and sauces. He was still wearing his work clothes, even though he got home about an hour ago, and took a seat at his usual side of the table. I got the bowls out and Lisa fetched the food before we too joined him at the table.

It was silent for a few minutes save for the sound of cutlery meeting bowls until Lisa spoke, trying to lighten the mood a little, "So how was work?" See, with my dad, to get the best reaction out of his in a case of something as serious as this you needed to be on his good side first which is what she was trying to do.

"Good, good," he answered plainly, not really out of character, "This is really good," he gestured to the food on his fork, "thanks for helping Lisa," he said, looking at me.

"It's fine." Was my reply. Dinner with him was always on edge especially if we needed to tell him something this important. Another awkward silence, with bowls and cutlery being met being the only sound throughout the house. Lisa looked towards me, clearly asking for help using her eyes; I was good at reading her like an open book which seemed to come in handy at this point in time.

"Dad?" I said, earning a questioning look from the man on the other end of the table. The two choices I had were to rip the band-aid off or pull it off slowly. I made my choice, "Lisa and I need to talk to you about something serious." I decided on the rip off option.

**Cliff-hanger guys, haven't left a proper one in a while so yup here it is. Tell me what you think.**


	11. Important AN that I hate

I think the first thing I should say is sorry, guys I'm really sorry I'm doing this but I need to put all my stories on a hiatus for a bit it might be for a few days or it might be weeks, to be honest I don't really know but I will finish them I promise I just need sometime

It really kills me to do this... I'm sorry

If you want to you want to banter PM me guys...


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